There’s a Hole in the Middle of the Bar

“Move, Cr…” the Sheriff began to say, but he was too late the suction of the portal had taken hold of his deputy. He couldn’t escape from it. The deputy was pulled violently backwards into the portal and was gone just like that.

But he wasn’t the first or the last to be caught in the portal’s suction. We were all beginning to feel its pull. “Run!” the Sheriff screamed. “Everyone get out of here!” The trolls that weren’t already running, ran. Or at least the ones that could did. Many of them were finding it difficult to get away. The Sheriff among them. And so was I.

Toleuk was the next to be sucked through. And then two of the trolls I recalled from the bar, who cheered to have me dunked, were pulled in. I was smaller than all of them, so my chances of escape were looking slim. I had been pulled off my feet almost immediately and was being pulled in toward the hole. The Sheriff reached out and grabbed a hold of me. “I lost Gnomegnasher. I’m not going to lose you.”

I held his hand as tight as I could. But it didn’t seem to be doing much good. The room was mostly empty now, just the two of us remained in the tavern. Everyone else had either escaped or been sucked into the portal. It was looking like I was going to be joining that latter group very soon. Every second, I slipped closer and closer to portal’s event horizon. “You’ve to get out of here, Sheriff. If you don’t the portal will pull you in, too.”

But the Sheriff stayed right where he was. “I’m going to get us out of here. I’m not going to give up on you, boy, so you don’t you give up on me!”

“I’m not giving up,” I told him, holding his large hand with both of mind, but I could feel the pull on my feet, the portal tugging me closer. I knew about pulling out wins from the jaws of defeat at the last second, but it was starting to feel like this wasn’t one of those times.

Then the Sheriff began to slide forward. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed one of the pillars holding up the roof. I could hear it creak under his weight. “Then neither am I!”

The portal was showing no sign of closing. We couldn’t just wait it out. The only way to keep from being pulled in was to get away. If I didn’t do something soon fatigue would start to set in. Unfortunately since my feet were up in the air, I had very choices. I saw only one real option. I had to climb up the Sheriff’s arm. So, I slid one hand up his hand to his wrist. Then I freed the other hand from his grip and slid that one up just above my other hand. I continued that way, sliding my hands inch by inch up his forearm. It wasn’t easy, but at least I seemed to be getting somewhere. When I reached his elbow, I started to fell like maybe this would work, that maybe we had a chance at getting out of here.

But then I heard a crack.

I looked up at the Sheriff and by the look in his eyes, he had heard it, too. We both looked at the pillar. It was buckling under our weight. The Sheriff began to pull against the pillar, trying to get us past it. Obviously he was hoping we would be able to find something else to grab a hold of and work our way out the back door. It was best plan we had. Unfortunately, the pillar couldn’t take the pressure any more and it snapped in half. Without the pillar to hold us, we were both sent flying backwards into the cracked hole in the world.

It was like being stuffed violently down a very thin pipe. I didn’t fit, but the portal didn’t care. It just kept pulling me and stretching me out until I was through. I would have let out a pained scream, but I didn’t have the breath to make a sound. It must have been even worse for the Sheriff, but I didn’t have the awareness to think about anything else except my own agonizing pain.

And then I was through, sliding down a psychedelic kaleidoscope of terror. I was bumped up and down and all around. I plummeted and rose and was spun over and over and turned inside out. It felt like it’d never end and had been going forever. It was the worst thing I’d ever experienced and I’d experienced quite a bit. And then, just like that, it was over.

to be continued…

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Over a Literal Barrel

Even before the trolls stopped pulling the giant barrel into the bar, the rest of the trolls began chanting. “Throw him in! Throw him in!” The troll carrying me held me up above his head.

“No!” I protested, trying to wiggle free. “You don’t need to do this!”

But no one was listening to me. I doubt they could have even heard me over the chanting. Not even the red troll holding me seemed to be able to hear me. He was too taken with every chanting, as if they were chanting for him. He held me up as high as he could and everyone cheered. That was all the troll needed to hear. he thew me up into the air, so high I was nearly able to grab the rafters before I went tumbling down toward the barrel.

…And went flying right into the hard edge of the barrel, rolling over it and falling to the floor, smacking hard into the ground. “You idiot!” one of the trolls yelled, as I lay in pain on the ground. “You threw him too hard!”

“You missed on purpose!”

“No, I didn’t!”

“You did! I saw you! You’re working with him!”

“Nuh-uh,” the red troll replied. “I…I…I was mesmerized!”

“Get him!” another troll yelled. “He’s been mesmerized!”

“No!” I could hear the red troll yell as I picked myself up. “I’m not mesmerized! I’m not mesmerized!”

“That’s what a mesmerized person’d say.”

“I’m not mesmerized! It’s just…just…he levitated! Yeah! You saw him! He used his magic to levitate himself over the barrel!”

I got up and muttered to myself, “Levitated?” as I walked over toward the door. I glanced back at the trolls. They were all looking at the red troll, then slowly their eyes turned toward me. Uh-oh. Not wasting another second, I rushed through the door into the back. I could hear the trolls screaming, “Get him!” from behind me.

The back room was bigger than I had expected. It looked like the magician drowning barrel wasn’t the only horror device they had back here. Everywhere I looked was one strange device or another. I didn’t know what any of them did and I didn’t want to stick around to find out. I continued to run to the back of the room as the trolls came barging into it, turning the doors into firewood as they did.

“He’s getting away!” one of the trolls yelled. “Get him!” I did not turn around to see how close they were. I just lowered my shoulder and pushed my way through the back doors and out of the tavern. Unfortunately, there were trolls out here, too. Everywhere I looked there were trolls. Walking the street. Talking on the corner. Selling groceries. Buying groceries. Chatting with each other. Looking after their troll children. Carrying their little troll babies. They were everywhere! I hadn’t just appeared in the middle of a troll tavern, I’d been magically transported into the middle of an entire troll village!

I didn’t have time to think about that. I had to get away from here! I started running down the street. The trolls stared at me as I ran by them, but not a single one of them tried to stop me, even a few jumped back in fright. They were nearly twice my size but they seemed quite scared of me. I didn’t think about that, all I could worry about was getting out of here.

I could hear the doors of the Tavern bang open as I rushed down the road. I thought I might be able to get away, but then a child screamed at me. A lady troll shrieked and a man troll jumped back in fright. Everyone cleared away from me as I passed them. I glanced back. There was a clear path back to the tavern. I could see the trolls just fine and, more importantly, they could see me.

“There he is! There’s the magician!” one of the trolls yelled. “Get him!” But then the trolls around me all began to scream.

“Magician!” they shrieked.

“Run!” they yelled.

“He’s going to kill us all!”

“Keep him away from us!”

They all began to panic.

I rushed through the streets, hoping that the panicking and shrieking trolls would keep the trolls who were trying to kill me away. It seemed to be working as I neared the edge of the city when two trolls in uniform appeared in my path. I skidded to a stop and began to turn around, but the trolls from the tavern were coming up behind me. Where could I run?

My hesitation cost me and the trolls came up behind me. I was surrounded, the uniformed trolls in front, the tavern trolls behind. I thought I was going to die for sure. There was no getting away from the trolls now. The only question left for me was to wonder would they kill me quickly or would they do it slowly?

to be continued…