Kink to the Rescue! (Whether You Like It or Not)

“What does it look like, Frankie?” Kink said, gesturing to her Time Police uniform. “I’m busting you out!”

“Why would you do that?” I asked from my seat. I glanced at the small room’s closed door. “I don’t need to be busted out. They’re just going to ask me some questions.”

“When do Time Cops ‘just ask questions’? Never, Frank. Never, that’s when. They’re going to erase you and everyone you love!”

“That’s just crazy,” I told her.

“Yeah? Tell that to your kids!”

“Kink, we don’t have kids.”


“Last time, you said our kids were being threatened by interdimensional invaders. Now, it’s the Time Police that are threatening them?”

“Inter-what now? I don’t know what that is. I think you might be suffering from Temporal Madness.”

“There’s no such thing.”

“Fine, temporary madness then. Who cares? Can we just go now?”

“I can’t believe you! You just ran away from these people and now you’re back sneaking into their HQ?”

“Ran away from them?” Kink repeated with a confused look on her face. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you not remember? You had that magical horn and Tilly took it from you.”

“Magical Horn? Yeah, I think you’ve definitely got some kind of madness.”

“Did they erase your memory or has this just not happened to you yet?”

“Ugh. This is time travel, Frank. It’s really better not to ask. Now can we get out of here? If you don’t mind, I’d rather you keep existing because it is just too much of a pain to find a primitive with such a cute butt.”

“I’m glad ogling me is what you…wait, that doesn’t even make sense. My body continually…”

“Can we talk about this later?”

“My quantum instability makes it so that I have to switch bodies every few days, that means you’ve practically never seen me in the same one. Every time you see me, I’ve looked completely different. That means my butt…”

“No offense, Frank,” Kink interrupted. “But I think we’ve got more important things to worry about than your body issues.”

“MY body issues? It was you that…”

“Can we just go now?”

“No,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Frank,” Kink replied earnestly. “They want to erase you, completely out of the time stream.”

“Erase me? The Time Cops don’t just do that.”

“Of course, they do! Don’t be naïve. How else can they keep the timeline so clean?”

“The Time Police don’t erase people, Kink. Certainly not for such minor offenses as I could be accused of.”

“Minor?” she echoed. “Are you kidding me? If what you did was minor, you wouldn’t be here. Believe me, the Time Cops are no walk in the park. They mean business.” She reached out and pulled me to my feet. “Now, we’ve wasted enough time. We seriously need to get out of here. I’m not about to get caught in here, all right?”

I pulled away from her. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere. The Time Police have brought me in to ask some questions, then they’re going to drop me back home as soon as we’re done.”

“No. They’re going to erase you and then they’re going to erase your friends and then they’re going to erase me.”

“Look. I don’t know what…”

And then she slapped me. Hard. I fell to the ground. And my cheek stung like hell. Kink picked me up. “I’ve had enough of this, your stupid complaining and whining. We’re leaving and that’s that. Ok?”

Before I could say anything, she was dragging me out of the room. I wanted to complain, but there were Time Cops everywhere. “I can’t go without Jamal and Tilly,” I whispered to her.

“Fine,” she sighed angrily. “Just keep moving. Don’t look at anyone.”

Kink led the way, her in her stolen Time Police uniform, with me trailing close behind pretending to be her prisoner. (If we’re being technical, I might have been her actual prisoner.) The Time Cops seemed to pay us no mind as we crossed the room to the other interrogation room. Kink looked into the window. “Uh-oh…”

“Uh-oh what!?” I didn’t wait for an answer before pushing her aside. I saw Tilly strapped to the chair and Jamal lying on the ground. It did not look good. “What the hell is going on?” I exclaimed, not at all in a whisper.

“What did I tell you?” Kink replied, smugly. “See? What have I been saying?”

I didn’t have time for her gloating, more importantly it looked like Tilly didn’t have time for it or any kind of delay either. We had to act and act now! “We have to save them!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Kink said, pumping her fist. She then turned and kicked the door open. The interogators turned toward us in shock. Their faces didn’t have time to change from the slackness of surprise before Kink shot them.

to be continued…


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